Elephants on parade

    One year to go until the 2012 presidential elections, and the GOP seems to be as flummoxed as ever on pulling together a candidate base capable of taking on President Barack Obama next November. This, despite a flagging economy, a pair of decade-old wars and general malaise tossed like a wet blanket over most of the political landscape
    Texas Gov. Rick Perry, leading the charge as candidate most likely to be mistaken for George W. Bush’s less intelligent little brother, spectacularly imploded while trying to name the three federal departments he would abolish as president. Broadcasted coast-to-coast during one of the Republican national debates, Perry’s inability to name his own talking point was a game changer, as in game over. Oops.
    Pizza man Herman Cain, nose diving in the polls over numerous and prurient allegations of sexual abuse and harassment from multiple women, had his own brain fade, or what is now known as a ‘Perry Moment,” trying to explain his position on Libya, just another in a series of foreign policy gaffes he seems to burp up every few days. This from a man now famous for quoting the Pokemon theme song, also during the national debates. Google it, the truth doesn’t even run a close second to fiction here. 
    It’s enough to make even a world-class hypocrite like Newt Gingrich rise in the polls, a veritable dawn of the dead. Gingrich, who’s had his own girl troubles in the past, (most notably at the same time he was leading the charge against former President Bill Clinton) should flame out with the re-emergence of details of both divorces, one from his cancer-stricken first wife, then dumping the second in favor of a goggle-eyed staffer, who is now his third wife, Callista. If that’s not enough to turn voters off, they have another 1.5 million reasons to dump the Newt, in the form of cold hard cash that the former speaker netted from sweetheart deals with housing giant Freddie Mac, another federal moniker synonymous with ‘train wreck.’
    Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, content to sit back and watch the clowns cavort, has some explaining to do, now that he has taken his stand against Obamacare. Playing to his audience, Ol’ Mitt has more than once said government needs to get out of the health care business, and right now. Maybe yes, maybe no, but it’s disingenuous for Mitt to toe the party line after forcing a mandate on Massachusetts voters to pay for the uninsured under Romneycare, the basic blueprint for Obamacare. 
    Beggaring belief, the only bright one to emerge from this campaign season may be Sarah Palin, by virtue of dodging the bullet.  Smart enough to stay out of the race if not the limelight, Sarah must be laughing all the way to the bank.
    Too bad she’s the only one that finds a bank statement funny these days.